Used
by runnergirl97
Summary: Peeta died during the Hunger Games and Katniss was the sole victor. Katniss is put in a situation similar to Finnick's. She returns to District 12 after a year and a half and tells her sad tale to Haymitch. Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

It was the middle of the night when I crept up the front porch steps and opened the door that I knew would be unlocked. Why lock a door when nobody has a reason to come inside? Even if there were a threat, it would probably be a welcome change. I tiptoed through the dirty house, up the stairs, and into the bedroom. The lump on the bed stirred, but remained asleep.

Of course he is asleep, I thought. Haymitch lay sound asleep, in the drunken stupor that characterized the last 26 years of his life. I gently lifted up the sheet to locate his hands and tenderly untangle the knife from his grasp. After setting it on the nightstand, I crawled into bed and curled up next to my drunken mentor.

Sunlight was streaming through the windows in dusty rays when I awoke. It was still early in the morning, too early for the unconscious lump to be anywhere close to awake. I carefully rolled out of bed, making an effort not to disturb him. I decided it would probably be beneficial for the both of us if I waited downstairs with a fresh pot of coffee, rather than surprising him in bed, which would be both creepy and alarming.

When I walked into the kitchen, I immediately went to work trying to locate something edible to go with the coffee. I prepared a breakfast from what little bread and jam I could find in the kitchen: coffee and toast, how delicious. A few hours later, Haymitch shakily found his way to the kitchen, where I waited perched on a stool.

"Good morning."

"Hey, sweetheart. Long time, no see," he mumbled in reply. "What have you been up to in the last year and a half?"

"That's why I'm here," I answered, pausing for a moment, "Here." I handed him a cup of coffee and a piece of toast. Haymitch sat down next to me and started to eat. He knew me well enough not to demand an answer immediately, but it was only a matter of time before he asked me why I showed up at his house. We sat in silence and finished our breakfast before he turned to me.

"So…?" he said questioningly.

"It's been a long time," I didn't want to immediately start off with my story because I didn't know where to begin and I didn't want to scare him off right away. A pity party was also the last thing I needed; I only wanted someone to talk to. "A lot has gone on since the Victory Tour, and I think you should know what happened. "

"Go right ahead, sweetheart. Tell me your story, or explain what brings you to here so early."

"I can't, that's my problem. I don't think I can handle telling you the whole thing at once," I whispered quietly. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him. Instinctively I would have pulled away, but I really needed someone right now that wasn't my mother or Prim. "I'll start with the Victory Tour, but first you need to promise that you won't tell any of this to my mom or Prim. I don't want them to have to suffer because of what I've gone through."

"I promise," he mumbled before getting up to retrieve a bottle of white liquor from a cabinet. "Want some?"

If I were the same person I had been right after the Hunger Games, I would have turned down his generous offer of black market alcohol, but I had grown somewhat dependent on drinking my way through tough times, and this story would be very tough. "Grab me a bottle," I instruct. Haymitch raises his eyebrows, but doesn't question me, which I am thankful about. He would understand my need for alcohol later.

"So, this Victory Tour…?" he says questioningly.

"Right," I reply, bracing myself for the retelling of a long, painful story.


	2. Chapter 2

The Victory Tour was the beginning of my nightmare, well, my figurative nightmare. Immediately after the Games ended I had nightmares regularly; after I went on the Victory Tour, my life became one.

The Tour usually begins in the District 12, and goes in descending order (skipping the victor's district) to the Capitol, and then ends in the victor's district. After the 74th Hunger Games, however, it was slightly different. It started in District 12 instead of skipping it and it ended in the Capitol.

"Remember how the Victory Tour started here?" I asked. Haymitch nodded and took a swig of liquor. "Well, that was President Snow's plan. He had some things set up with people and so he arranged to have it end in the Capitol so I could remain there for a while."

I paused and Haymitch said, "I thought something was going on, but I assumed it had something to do with the upcoming Quarter Quell. When you didn't come home on the train after the tour, I assumed it was because you liked living in the Capitol. I knew something was wrong when you didn't show up at the Reaping or at the Games."

"Anyway," I continued, "the stop here was uneventful; everything started in District 11." I took a drink of liquor and it burned all the way down. I paused for a while to collect myself before I continued, "After the speech we were taken into the Justice Building for a few hours before the train arrived. I was taken by Peacekeepers at gunpoint to a room in the dome of the building when we were split up. There was a man up there, I don't know whom, but I could tell by the way he dressed that he was definitely influential. He wasn't the mayor, so I think he was from the Capitol. Anyway, he told me to do exactly what he said…" I inhaled deeply and took another drink of liquor to hold myself together. Haymitch put his arm around me to comfort me and to gently encourage me to continue. "He told me to do exactly what he said or President Snow would kill my family."

There was a pause before Haymitch said, "I think I know where this was going. Another tribute was put in a similar situation a few years ago. You don't have to continue if you don't want to."

I nodded and took another drink. I had already talked to Finnick and heard what Snow put him through, and I knew Haymitch knew what happened, but I had to continue. "Before the Games I had never even kissed anyone," I paused again and inhaled sharply. A single tear fell from my eye and landed on my hand, but I continued. "I lost my virginity that day to a complete stranger. I never learned his name, all I know is that the sick pervert paid Snow for me."

Haymitch and I sat in silence for a while. I was glad he didn't try to say anything to comfort me, although I don't think he knew how. I had collected myself after a few minutes and resumed telling my story. "It wasn't as horrible as what happened at the Capitol, thank goodness, but it was still awful for me. When we got on the train I locked myself in my room and lay in bed hoping I would just die. The same thing happened at each of the other Districts. Some of them just wanted sex, but others were… different." At this pint I had a few tears running down my cheeks.

"Katniss," Haymitch began and then stopped, as though he decided against what he was going to say. He wiped the tears from my cheeks with the hand that wasn't around my shoulders and then took another drink.

"You can't tell my family," I urged him again. The last thing I needed was to make my mother and Prim sick with worry because of what had happened.

"I won't, sweetheart." Haymitch said harshly. I could tell he was somewhat bothered by the fact that I didn't trust him. He wasn't one to gossip, but I was still worried he would let it slip.

"The worst ones were the ones that wanted more than sex," I cried. I leaned into Haymitch and buried my face into his chest. He stroked my hair gently as I went on, "In District 9 there were three people. It was horrible. One of them hit me when I refused to give him oral sex. They threatened my family and forced me to have sex with all of them." I continued crying for a few minutes until I could sort of collect myself. Haymitch continued to stroke my hair until I sat up and took another drink.

We sat in the kitchen for a few minutes just drinking. I think Haymitch was at a loss for words. I knew he wouldn't have many comforting things to say, and he knew it was not the time for his biting sarcasm, so he remained silent.

"District 4 was the worst of the Districts. That man was truly sick and twisted. He put me on the floor and tied my arms and legs to furniture," I sobbed and said almost incomprehensively, "and used objects that were laying around." I kept sobbing for a few minutes longer before, surprisingly, Haymitch picked me up and laid me on the sofa in his living room.

"I had to try so hard to act like nothing happened when I got on the train," I continued quietly. I couldn't hold myself together any longer. Haymitch sat on the other end of the couch while I cried until I fell asleep. 

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know how to add author's notes because I'm new to this, so if this is wrong and you could please put that in a review, it would be totally helpful. <strong>

**Don't think I'm some crazy rapist or anything. This story just popped into my head because of some random other one I read... and I watch a lot of CSI, so it's not like I come up with this kind of sexual and violent stuff on my own. Okay thanks, bye! **


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up slightly disoriented and feeling the effects of the white liquor. After looking around I realized that I was on Haymitch's sofa, and then I remembered falling asleep there.

"Haymitch?" I called out tentatively. No response. I got up and returned to the stool that I had been sitting on earlier that morning and took another drink of the liquor. I was already drunk, so what's a little more alcohol. So much of my last year had been spent drunk, so I could tolerate a good amount of alcohol. I decided that I might as well use that tolerance to my advantage since I still didn't have anything to ease my pain.

Haymitch returned a few minutes later with a bowl of soup that he bought from Greasy Sae and some fresh bread. I was glad to know that Greasy Sae was still in business, and her familiar soup made me feel at home. We ate together in silence, as we had that morning, because we didn't have much to talk about that we could discuss over dinner.

"Does your family know you're back?" Haymitch finally asked. I guess he hadn't run into them today, which is probably for the best. I hadn't even told them I returned, not to mention that I was physically and mentally falling apart.

"No," I answered simply.

"Are you planning on visiting them any time soon, sweetheart, or should I continue to stow you away for a while?"

I didn't appreciate his acerbic tone and I just wasn't ready to face my family yet. "Can I please just stay here for a while?" I asked pitifully.

Feeling guilty about his harshness, Haymitch replied, "If that's what you need. If you want anything, just let me know."

I paused for a moment before asking, "Did you see Gale?"

"He was at the Hob."

"Does he know I'm back?" If he knew, there was a chance my mother or Prim might find out too.

"Not unless you told him, sweetheart."

Ignoring his typical tone, I replied, "I didn't. I don't want Gale to know what happened either."

We finished our dinner in silence.

**Haymitch's POV**

When she finally cried herself to sleep on my sofa, I had time to collect my thoughts. Snow had sold her to people almost immediately. She didn't even get to finish the Victory Tour before there were people lined up… and that was a year and a half ago. She has probably been going through this constantly since then.

I sat and waited for Katniss to wake up, but she didn't stir. The evening was fast approaching, so I decided to head over to the Hob to grab us something to eat, since I was low on edible bread and she was probably hungry.

When I returned she was waiting on the same stool she was sitting on this morning.

I set the bowl of soup in front of her and sat down in the stool next to her. She asked if I had mentioned anything to her family or Gale. I told her I hadn't and we continued to eat in silence.

Katniss didn't want to tell anyone she loved what happened because she didn't want them to worry. Ignorance is bliss. I also knew that the only reason she was telling me is because she needed someone to talk to. She isn't one to seek comfort in others, and I'm not one to give it very easily; we're a perfect pair. Still, I think it would be better for her to talk to Finnick, since he can relate to her situation…

**I definitely got writer's block on this chapter (which explains why it is sort of a dud), and I'm not even a legitimate writer! I didn't want it to be too "woe is me" on Katniss's end, so I decided to add a little break between her stories. **

**How would you guys feel about a Haymitch/Katniss relationship? Not a creepy kind of thing (even though he is sooooo much older than her). Let me know what you think or if there are any improvements I can make!**


End file.
